Surrender
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
In times like these, we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
I spend my life talking about leadership, my lived experience. Thirty years in professional sport in the AFL. Almost 25 of those years as CEO of iconic, celebrated and ambitious sporting clubs.
Football writer Greg Baum described this world with wonderful acuity.
‘In season, a football club exists in a state of nervous tension, a 24-hours-a-day dwelling on the next match, relieved only in the two hours of playing it. It means that for all their outward robustness, they are also moody and delicate places, susceptible as a barometer to the pressures that surround them.’
In an industry where opinions are many – mostly proffered with the wisdom of hindsight, or little accountability for outcomes – you’re often reminded of the times you got it wrong. This is inevitable when faced with the ambiguity of attempting to predict an unknown an unknowable future, and a scoreboard that ultimately defines success and failure.
But these are not my reflections. In my quiet moments, I don’t think about the judgement calls, the getting it right, the getting it wrong.
My reflections are the times when I was unable to raise myself to the core expectations of leadership.
When the role required me to be brave, and I wasn’t. My timidity often known only to me. An unsettling feeling that sits just under your diaphragm. Out of reach. It won’t budge, no matter how many times I seek to justify my actions to myself, but mostly to others, as though their opinion of me matters more than my assessment of self. There were spaces I should have stepped into, conversations to be had, but I allowed the moment to slide by. That feeling in my gut is still there sometimes decades later. I feel it as I pen these words.
…to be brave.
When the title I held, and responsibilities and expectations that came with it, were best served with humility, but my delicate ego wouldn’t allow it. A need to present myself with confidence and belief, and perhaps just a touch of ruthlessness, as the person with all the answers. A hard man, often defensive and combative, but mostly overcompensating for the inner feelings of doubt and fear that I would force back inside of me, buried.
…to be humble.
When our best chance of producing the most beneficial outcome was to remain calm, modelled by the leaders themselves. People like me, who enjoyed the status of leadership, but did not honour it, unable to rise to the level of emotional clarity and lucidity the situation required. I personalised the situation when self-control was required and expected. In an environment of strong personalities and anxieties, often under pressure, anger was the default emotion redefined as competitiveness, a chorus that I often led, and by doing so guaranteed something much less than the optimal response.
…to be calm.
You cannot lead through control. As counterintuitive as it might seem, to gain influence, you must surrender control.
Three goals for leaders…
To be brave.
To be humble.
To be calm.
In moments like these, we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
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