Are You Prepared to Fail?
Leadership will pick you up somewhere and leave you somewhere else, and mistakes, failures and setbacks are part of this process.
The first question I ask leaders interested in the designCEO offerings, either personally, or on behalf of their organisations is:
“Are you prepared to fail?”
I then list seven reasons why our programs fail as a small test of their resolve.
The prerequisite for any of our work is a willingness to fail.
I think of leadership as a craft. Seeking to build mastery, but never feeling as though you have achieved it.
It is a process of constant transition and iteration.
Growth mindset leaders. Open, curious and committed to learning.
Leadership, if you’re prepared to embrace all its expectations, will pick you up somewhere and leave you somewhere else, and mistakes, failures and setbacks are part of this process.
They become part of the lived experience, an excellent teacher.
Leadership will change you.
For good, but it might not feel that at the time.
Idea:
Decide with speed.
High-performing leaders understand that a wrong decision is mostly better than no decision at all.
Leaders who see ambiguity as an opportunity. You are only doing your job when you are confronting the most ambiguous stuff. You are a specialist in the ‘49/51’ decision, which means you better have a heap of capable ‘60/40’ people around you and allow them to do their jobs, understanding they will get it wrong also.
You cannot wait for perfect information. There is never such a thing. If there was, we don’t need leaders.
But by making a decision now, you will get feedback and learnings, current and valuable insights not previously available, from which you can create a new point of departure for the next decision.
It is not easy, but then again, I cannot think of anything worthwhile that comes without challenge.
It will always feel at least a tad overwhelming.
Quote:
“Individuals who prevail in a highly competitive environment have any one thing in common besides success, it is failure, and their ability to overcome it. “Crash and burn” is part of it; so are recovery and reward.”
Bill Walsh from The Score Takes Care of Itself, a favourite book that articulates what he calls his “standard of performance”, his leadership framework that has great application for anyone with leadership aspirations, responsibilities or influence.
Recommendation:
The Battered Bastards of Baseball
My father in law, Mort Stamm, a man of wonderful curiosity, humour and intelligence recommended this show a few months back, and I loved it. I wondered in fact how I’d missed it, as it dates back to 2014.
I loved this description:
“This film is a labour of love in which the sweat never shows.”
In 1973, baseball lover and actor Bing Russell, father of Kurt Russell, starts an independent, single-A team composed of players that no one else wanted. This doco tells the story.
It’s on Netflix.
…and a timeless song lyric:
I am the Walrus – The Beatles
This week marks the 40th anniversary of John Lennon’s death, 8 December 1980.
Personally, it was a “What were you doing when you heard?” moment.
A few lines from the first Beatles song I played on repeat, “I am the Walrus”
I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I’m crying
Sitting on a corn flake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you’ve been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long
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What Truly Matters?
Because I understand what truly matters, I get to enjoy what seems to matter.
“Because I understand what truly matters, I get to enjoy what seems to matter.”
I cannot remember when I first heard the quote, but whenever it was, I wished I heard it years earlier.
I recall it was a coach in the US, post-game, responding to questions from media. His team had just won its way into an historic college basketball championship game, and he was being pressed to elevate the significance of the occasion.
His answer went something like “Because I understand what truly matters, I get to enjoy what seems to matter.”
He then explained that as the coach, he had seen wonderful personal development in the young men in his team. He didn’t need to say any more.
But yes, he would enjoy this moment.
Play-on.
Idea:
Sport for most is a ‘heroes and villains’ business, and to the victor go the spoils. But this narrative often ignores what counts most, the “what truly matters”.
This coach was clear on “what truly matters” and he had seen progress in ways that few sitting in judgement could observe or understand, nor had an appetite for. I say this not out of disrespect for those tasked with questioning the coach, I am articulating the difference in “what truly matters”, and “what seems to matter” dependent on where you sit within the microcosm of this sporting system.
Perhaps the coach was also reminding those who communicate the game to the world, earning a living from the sport, to move beyond the shallow observations from the game itself, and not define its value by scoreboards past and present… even just for a few minutes.
You rarely see this from coaches, and when you do, it is mainly from those with plenty of silverware in the trophy cabinet, such that it affords them enough scope and space to give us a deeper insight, and it is priceless.
Great examples of this are NBA coaches Steve Kerr and Gregg Popovich, who try to rise above the banter, noise, and banality. A few hours well spent is listening to either talk beyond the game, even though basketball is the context of their conversation and learning.
Quote:
“I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn’t get better, you get better.”
– Joan Rivers
Recommendation:
Fortunately, there is plenty of coaching stuff available on YouTube and podcasts, a veritable rabbit warren of insight.
An example is Dr Michael Gervais’ conversation with Steve Kerr in his outstanding ‘Finding Mastery’ podcast.
In this conversation, it is clear that Steve Kerr understands winning, but he’s searching for something beyond that.
PS. Have your Moleskine notebook handy.
…and a timeless song lyric:
I am…I said – Neil Diamond
Hot August Night
But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I’ve tried
But it won’t let me go
And I’m not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared
For the sound of being alone
“I am”… I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
“I am”… I cried
“I am”… said I
And I am lost and I can’t
Even say why
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Who Are You Practising At Being?
What does “good practice today” look like for you?
I remember an interview with legendary NFL coach Bill Belichick, winner of six Super Bowls, that went something like:
“With all you have accomplished in your coaching career, what is left that you still want to accomplish?” he is asked.
“I’d like to go out and have a good practice today,” Belichick replied.
“That would be at the top of the list right now.”
As a leader, Belichick understands that it’s not enough to be all he can be, it is about coaching and supporting others to be all they can be. The next practice session represents this opportunity. There is nothing more important, no higher priority.
What does “good practice today” look like for you?
Idea:
Think like Belichick.
Given the structure of competition in team sport, standard setting is relatively obvious.
The competition sets the standard.
Not so for non-sporting organisations. It is the responsibility of leaders to set the standard, performance expectations now and into the future, achieved by aligning goals and aspirations with the only two key levers we have access to:
talent
systems
But we do not rise to the level of our ambition, we fall to the level of our capability, and leadership insight is critical. We will not achieve this understanding by ‘working harder’, it is achieved by ‘thinking harder’.
In the ebb and flow of life, leadership is more about the ebb than the flow, where learning and insight happens.
In response, I offer a simple and powerful system for leaders.
Diarise one-hour every week for a ‘think-harder’ meeting with yourself, preferably on the same day and time. If you’re absolutely required to do something else, and it will happen, do not delete the meeting from your calendar, shift it to the next clear space, be it later in the day, or the next day.
Think like Belichick. He would never lead a practice session without hours of thorough and thoughtful preparation, all aligned to a bigger strategy, despite the thousands of sessions he has taken, the planning being more important than the session.
Your ‘think-harder’ meeting will soon become the most important hour of your week.
Start the meeting by asking yourself “Who am I practising at being?”.
Good strategy, if nothing else, is the best use of constrained resources. The scarcest of your resources is you, mainly your energy and attention.
Are you making the best use of you?
You will not find the answer in your inbox.
You will not find it by refusing to leave the office, virtual or otherwise.
You will not find it on social media.
You will find it is by forming a new and powerful habit, the ‘think-harder’ meeting with yourself, building a practice of reflection, ensuring that you become the leader you seek to be, and what your team needs.
Go out and make your next practice a good one.
Quote:
“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London
My favourite post-cancer quote. I am now nine-months cancer-free.
Recommendation:
The Netflix series titled “The Playbook”, which focuses on what they call “A Coach’s Rules for Life”.
There are five coaches interviewed in the current series, only 35 minutes long, and include USA soccer coach Jill Ellis, NBA coach Doc Rivers and now Tottenham Hotspurs Manager Jose Mourinho.
A binge worth having, but bring your Moleskine notebook.
…and a timeless song lyric:
Love a rambling storytelling tune.
This is a beauty.
Jack White and the Saboteurs/Ranconteurs
I’m not sure if there’s a point to this story
But I’m going to tell it again
So many other people try to tell the tale
Not one of them knows the end
It was a junk-house in South Carolina
Held a boy the age of ten
Along with his older brother Billy
And a mother and her boyfriend
Who was a triple loser with some blue tattoos
That were given to him when he was young
And a drunk temper that was easy to lose
And thank god he didn’t own a gun
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How Serious Are You?
The idea of ‘mechanics’ and ‘dynamics’ of leadership, performance and culture.
I had a lot of feedback last week on the idea of ‘mechanics’ and ‘dynamics’ of leadership, performance and culture.
The teaching I do with leaders, their teams and organisations, focuses on building capability in these two areas, the ‘head and heart’ of leadership.
The goal is trust, specifically as it relates to performance, which builds on embedding belief.
Belief in each other, the systems, plan (strategy) and culture, measured by behaviours, aligned or otherwise.
The ‘mechanics’ are a ‘leadership system of operation’, as it applies to the individual, team(s), and the organisation itself. It is the leadership capabilities needed and processes required, basically ‘what we do and how we do it’.
The ‘dynamic’ is the ‘leadership character’. It relates to leadership identity and purpose, the ‘who we are and why we do it’.
I have mapped it out in a trusty 2 x 2 below.
We need to get both right. The goal is to match ambition with capability.
Most leaders are happy to talk about mechanics. They are safe conversations. It is easy to blame the process, and often it is the leadership system, or lack of system, that is a crucial part of the reason why organisations do not perform to expectations.
Many leaders (and organisations) do not have a leadership system of operation, or it is piecemeal, variable or fragmented.
Dynamics, well, that it is a much harder conversation. Blame will rest with individuals, and a big chance the person in the mirror is at fault.
I do not teach anything I haven’t stuffed up, and as a CEO, it was often that bloke in the mirror who was the problem. Maybe it was a lack of insight, but more likely, I had made myself inaccessible to feedback.
There is a saying “No one tells the CEO their baby is ugly”.
Friction exists in every team and organisation. Leaders must seek it out, otherwise it will play-out at the worst moments.
Before I start any leadership work, I ask the client “How serious are you?”
The reason is simple.
“You might be the problem”.
I was. Often.
Idea:
‘The Dynamics and Mechanics of Leadership – A Model
Quote:
Question:
“When I had the opportunity, did I choose courage over comfort?”
Brene Brown
Recommendation:
A YouTube that captures so much:
Luka Lesson – “May your pen grace the page.”
Such elegance from Luka Lesson. A wordsmith.
Every word…
“May”…give yourself permission. Do it.
“your”…your story, your feelings, your identity. Be it.
“pen”…brush, pencil, keyboard, Blackwing
“grace”…eloquence, pursuit, grit, refinement
“the page…the blank canvas, the empty notebook, with all its potential and intimidation. The Moleskine.
Recommended to me by Belinda Toohey.
She knows me well.
…and a timeless song lyric:
Rolling Stones – You can’t always get what you want
And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, “We’re gonna vent our frustration
If we don’t we’re gonna blow a fifty-amp fuse”
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find
You get what you need
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Fear Of Other People’s Opinion (FOPO)
The Fear of Other People’s Opinions. The expectations of others, versus our own truth.
When talking about personal growth in any form, including leadership, I think about it in the context of mechanics and dynamics, roughly described as ‘head and heart’.
We tend to focus on mechanics. They are more accessible and less personal and therefore more comfortable to talk about. The systems and processes, essential when seeking to change and progress.
Dynamics are tough. The need to go deep to go forward, requiring an understanding of self. It takes work, and the idea of ‘FOPO’ is ever-present.
The Fear of Other People’s Opinions. The expectations of others, versus our own truth.
What makes you…you.
As an AFL CEO, I often felt like a square peg in a round hole, and there were periods when I couldn’t shake FOPO, and the possibility of my fears being amplified on the back page of the Herald-Sun.
Part of letting something go is acknowledging it exists within you. You need the tools to make it happen. A system.
I learned there are few things you have real control over, except how you think, react and respond to a situation and context. But you can work at it. Figure it out.
It is likely to be inelegant, slow, mistakes everywhere.
And you cannot do it alone.
It is your stories, their understanding and consequences that provide insight.
Sharing your stories invites people into your world. The help you need.
It creates a space for people to step into.
A few decades ago, my wife Cecily stepped into my story.
Everything changed.
I was like an out-of-tune piano, played every day, not realising how out-of-tune I was.
But tuning a piano isn’t a one-off event. It is a consistent effort, and there are all sorts of reasons why it goes out of tune.
Find your story.
Idea:
‘System of story’.
Turn off all distractions. Do what you need to do to still the mind.
Grab that Blackwing pencil and Moleskine notebook I talked about a few weeks back, number 1-5 down the page. Now, write down the five most important events that have shaped you, as if they were chapter titles in the book of your life.
Then start writing about one of the stories, ‘stream of conscious’ writing, and go as long as the moment allows. But no less than twenty minutes. I find if you get past that milestone, you will be able to stay in the moment.
It is not about writing well. Do not edit as you go. Write badly, misspell, just get it on the page.
I like to play music from the era I am writing about. If I am a young child and reflecting on my family, it is Neil Diamond and Hot August Night. My own recollections of childhood it might be Suzi Quatro and 48 Crash or The Sweet and Fox on the Run. My teen years it was The Beatles, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. My guilty pleasure is KISS Alive! and Destroyer.
You get the drift. Be that age again. Think about all the senses. The smells, tastes and sounds, as well as the sights. Recreate the dialogue, even though you will not remember, but you understand the conversations you were having. Describe, in detail, what it felt like to be you, at that moment, with that person (or on your own).
If you are struggling for a theme, I find the stories come into three categories:
The ‘gut it out’ story. You faced into something confronting, uncertain, perilous, or challenged yourself to go much further than you would typically go, and you prevailed. You found a way and learnt a lot about yourself in the process.
The ‘offbeat’ story. You tried something very different from what you would typically do, experimented, and it changed you, and you have never been the same.
The ‘transitional’ story. A life-changing event. It might be a story of personal loss or ordeal that disrupts your life, such that it can never be the same. The kind of story that could go either way for you. The stories that return to you in your quiet times. The moments that never leave you.
I tend to favour the transitional story. “I was that, and I am now this” as a result of the event I am now writing about.
Often it is a trial of some kind, but there are also those amazingly positive transitional stories. Meeting your life-partner (Cecily), parenting, being part of an extraordinary group of people that achieve beyond your wildest expectations, or producing something that decades later still evokes the most profound sense of pride.
This is a process of what I call ‘mining’ your stories, and then in the telling, should you wish to share, you are ‘harvesting’ your stories each time you tell it.
Quote:
“Despair is the time in which we both endure and heal, even when we have not yet found the new form of hope. “
David Whyte
Again…from his book Consolations.
Recommendation:
Music is a proven way of changing mood, and never underestimate your mood in terms of getting going and a precursor to getting stuff done.
I have a Spotify playlist titled “Mood changers when I’m feeling f**ked”.
It starts with Suzi Quatro singing 48 Crash as this is the first song I heard and thought two important things.
Firstly, ‘Rock & Roll is cool’, and secondly ‘girls are good’.
It then moves into a playlist which has grown and evolved. Here is the Spotify Link.
If you don’t like my ‘highly sophisticated’ tunes, set up your own playlist.
…and a timeless song lyric:
A wonderful Australian storyteller...
Paul Kelly – How to make Gravy
And later in the evening, I can just imagine
You’ll put on Junior Murvin and push the tables back
And you’ll dance with Rita, I know you really like her
Just don’t hold her too close
Oh brother please don’t stab me in the back
I didn’t mean to say that, it’s just my mind it plays up
Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact
You know I love her badly, she’s the one to save me
I’m gonna make some gravy, I’m gonna taste the fat
Tell her that I’m sorry, yeah I love her badly
Tell ’em all I’m sorry
And kiss the sleepy children for me
You know one of these days, I’ll be making gravy
I’ll be making plenty, I’m gonna pay ’em all back
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Transition
In life, the only person you are stuck with is you.
In life, the only person you are stuck with is you.
This realisation hit me (dangerously) hard when I was sacked as CEO of the Melbourne Football Club a few years back. It was the second time I’d been sacked as CEO by the Demons. What followed was the too sluggish and unsettling realisation that, after 30 years, there was no future for me in the game.
In these moments, we have a relatively simple choice. Feed the good wolf (love) or the bad wolf (hate). I have done both. Sport is a heroes and villains business.
The irony is, as I have learned, it is much easier to find solitude and acuity when all seems lost. We rarely find it when life is on a roll. We are too busy.
To start feeding the good wolf, I firstly needed to forgive myself. Shake hands with the bloke in the mirror to access the new ‘truths’ now within arm’s reach to find a new form of self-reliance. Of course, these ‘truths’ were there the whole time. I was oblivious. They were lost in the noise and overwhelm that had become my shield and identity.
I needed to change the conversation. What part of me was I no longer putting up with?
Learning to say ‘no’ to myself to get to ‘yes’.
A couple of years after looking out at a packed media conference in the MCG boardroom trying to explain my demise as CEO (again), I was studying fine art at the Victorian College of the Arts. This path then took me to the concept that is now designCEO while remaining a practising artist.
Sometimes we need to take ourselves to the edge of our identity to create a new harvest.
The drawing below of former Collingwood captain Terry Waters titled “Magic Hands” is a recent drawing, inspired by a life beyond the game, but still embedded in the game.
I’d been handed a gift.
This is some of what I learned.
Idea:
Curious wisdom.
Ask yourself:
“Who are you hanging out with, and what are you talking about.”
As Dr Michael Gervaise would say as one of his keys to learning and growth:
“Put yourself in conversation with wise people”.
But not with reverence. No pedestal is required, nor helpful as a respectful equal. Bring your own insights. Make it personal.
“Curious wisdom” I call it.
The courage, confidence and humility to:
Be curious enough to have your mind changed. Admit you have more to learn.
Offer your wisdom, the insights from a lifetime of lived and learned experience. It is a reciprocal conversation. You have much to share, and I am yet to meet a wise person who is not a learner.
Actor Matthew McConaughey in his excellent and highly recommended memoir “Green Lights” describes it as “less impressed, more involved” when in conversation with people you admire. I like that.
Quote:
“I spent my whole life gripping a baseball, and in the end, I found out that all along it was the other way around.“
The ex-baseball pitcher Jim Bouton, in his seminal sporting memoir, “Ball Four”, wrote the epitaph for every professional athlete when he arrived at this poignant, bittersweet conclusion.
We all have a metaphoric baseball.
Recommendation:
An App: We all need help with the process of transition.
I am into Milanote.
Someone described it as the Evernote for creatives.
It is a tool of transition. It brings a visual to the process of developing concepts in that sticky note sort of way with an excellent interface and workspace, as well as being fantastic for keeping references such as websites, images etc.
“I am not a creative”, I hear you say.
Ok, I recommend it to anyone who needs to come up with innovative solutions to complex and ambiguous situations.
Does that sound like you?
Take a look.
…and a timeless song lyric:
From a constant companion during a time of transition…
Nick Cave – Into My Arms
I don’t believe in an interventionist God
But I know, darling, that you do
But if I did, I would kneel down and ask Him
Not to intervene when it came to you
Oh, not to touch a hair on your head
Leave you as you are
If he felt he had to direct you
Then direct you into my arms
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Perspective Matters
The current Tigers value humility above all else, and it has produced an era for Richmond to rejoice. An era that will live on.
The concepts for “In the arena” are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal, and the lived experience as a leader for most of my working life.
The notes come from a personal process: Curiosity – Collection – Curation – Creation.
“Creating” this email each week, provides the opportunity to “curate” the notes and thoughts I’ve “collected” that have come from the books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, or conversations I’ve had…i.e. my “curiosity”.
A special moment on Grand Final weekend.
Two clubs set aside their celebrations and disappointments to honour an outstanding player of the game, the ‘Little Master’, Gary Ablett Jnr in such a unique and memorable way.
The game has produced many outstanding players, but few, if any, better than this man.
Such is the respect, the Richmond players tucked their Premiership medallions into their jumpers, hidden, not wishing to take the shine away from the player and this moment. The Premiership Cup is nowhere to be seen, all inspired by Tiger champion Dustin Martin who for three Premierships in four years, hides away his Norm Smith medals.
Team trumps individual.
The Richmond I grew up with was known as ‘Ruthless Richmond’, and all of the expectations that went with it. They were ruthlessly successful for a period, but there was a hangover that lasted generations.
The current Tigers value humility above all else, and it has produced an era for Richmond to rejoice. An era that will live on.
Craig Foster described it wonderfully as the sporting Holy Trinity…on-field and commercial success with genuine social leadership and impact. They have built on each other, and they are a model of leadership.
To the leaders, President Peggy O’Neal, CEO Brendon Gale, Coach Damien Hardwick and skipper Trent Cotchin (and there are many others; shared leadership is also a mantra), well played.
You have changed the game (and a little bit of the world) for the better.
Go Tiges.
Idea:
Perspective Matters – Another competition: ‘Winning’ vs ‘The process of becoming’
Winning is fleeting, while the process of becoming lasts a lifetime.
So fleeting is winning in elite sport, almost immediate is the thought “What next?”.
The process of becoming is about growth and gives winning perspective.
Perspective matters.
You earn perspective. If you haven’t been through the hard times, I am not sure you can really appreciate winning.
It took a long time for the penny to drop, but I now know I am richer for my failures. I own them. When you are in the midst of your disappointment, it is hard. When you are through it, you know that you can endure. What was overwhelmingly difficult, now seems possible.
“It is not how you get knocked down, it is how you get up.” – Allan Jeans, Vince Lombardi et al.
You cannot buy wisdom, experience….and perspective.
The Tigers have perspective.
This thought was inspired by Dr Michael Gervais’ interview on his Finding Mastery Podcast:
Jill Ellis on The Pressure of Coaching the U.S. women’s national soccer team
Quote:
“Resilience, for Harkness, is ‘the ability to accurately assess threats and opportunities and to allocate emotional resources accordingly’. Resilience is not perseverance, or ‘keeping on pedalling’. It’s an accurate assessment, which means it has to be flexible. If you persevere and you continue to get nowhere, then you are wasting energy. ‘Sometimes when you fail,’ he says, ‘you should just give up..”
― From “Edge: What Business Can Learn from Football” – Ben Lyttleton’’
Harkness is Tim Harkness, Head of Sports Science and Psychology at the Chelsea Football Club
Recommendation:
“The Turning’ by Tim Winton
My favourite Australian writer is Tim Winton. Great fiction is excellent for the soul and underestimated from a learning perspective. The writer is going deep on your behalf, it’s just a matter of keeping up.
His book “The Turning” is worth swapping for your next Netflix binge. The Audiobook is very well produced.
Here is the Audible Link.
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The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Awake or asleep, the experience of the first game I watched would never be lost, images, moments and people remain vivid and prevailing, and in colour, sound and smell.
It is the Friday before a Grand Final like no other.
I’ve attended the last fifty Grand Finals in a row (including a couple of replays) but will miss this one.
I spent my first Grand Final crying my eyes out, way back in 1972 as a young fella when Richmond got smashed by Carlton who kicked a record score. The Tigers came into the game as clear favourites, and it was all too much for this kid. The game didn’t go to plan.
I had fallen in love with the game, and the team, pretty much before I’d fallen in love with anything else, from the first game I’d seen live only a year earlier.
My father, Alan was CEO (then called Secretary) of the Richmond Football Club, “Ruthless Richmond” as they were known.
Awake or asleep, the experience of the first game I watched would never be lost, images, moments and people remain vivid and prevailing, and in colour, sound and smell.
After losing that Grand Final, I became aware that the game was not merely background; it dictated the rhythm of our household, its energy and attention, its self-esteem, its identity.
And the game became my identity, my story.
I learnt a lesson then, one of which I was reminded many times over the next half-century:
“The game doesn’t give up its rewards easily.”
I cannot think of anything worthwhile in life that doesn’t have the potential to disappoint in a way that stays with you.
It is where personal growth comes from, but only if you allow it.
What are the stories that have defined you?
This edition of “In the Arena” focuses on the stories that have shaped us.
Idea:
Mine and harvest your stories
There is such power in understanding our story.
Three years ago, Richmond FC introduced the much-discussed Triple H sessions, in which a single player stands and shares his story of a ‘Hero, Hardship and Highlight’ from their life.
While there can be too much emphasis on ‘telling’ part of storytelling, it can be cathartic for both teller and listener.
The ‘telling’ is just the conversation. Tell it how you would talk it. You will find yourself laughing and crying as the story impacts on you again, engaging your ‘audience’ while finding new insights each time you tell it.
The real power is in the understanding, and how it has shaped and continues to shape you.
It goes deeper than nostalgia, but that is also important in terms of identity and the stories we tell ourselves.
I sometimes think about our stories as an old school blackboard never properly washed. It has the ghost-lines of lessons taught layered on top of each other, one of those faint scribbles perhaps igniting the passion for learning in just one child that then shaped a life.
People like to talk about authenticity, as a value. I think of it as an outcome. You cannot have authenticity without vulnerability, and you cannot have vulnerability without courage.
And there is courage in everyone’s story and a gift for those whom you choose to share.
Quote:
“When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.”
― Kurt Vonnegut
Just when you reckon you have no idea what you are doing, despite having a red hot go, you’re feeling like the losses are mounting, you can reconcile that even the most celebrated and iconic have these moments.
If you are ever looking to change life up a bit, try a Kurt Vonnegut novel.
Recommendation:
“The Liars’ Club’ by Mary Karr.
I felt privileged to read it and changed my attitude towards telling my story, even the stuff that feels confronting every time I tell it.
It is also really brutally funny.
It might just inspire you to tell your story.
…and a timeless song lyric:
From one of the great storytellers:
Bruce Springsteen – My Father’s House
I awoke and I imagined the hard things that pulled us apart
Will never again, sir, tear us from each other’s hearts
I got dressed and to that house I did ride
From out on the road I could see its windows shining in light
I walked up the steps and stood on the porch
A woman I didn’t recognize came and spoke to me through a chained door
I told her my story and who I’d come for
She said “I’m sorry son but no one by that name lives here anymore”
This YouTube of Bruce Springsteen telling the story behind the song. It is rough and raw.
This version by Ben Harper singing it to The Boss is pretty special as well.
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Quitting
The notes come from a personal process: Curiosity – Collection – Curation – Creation.
The concepts for “In the arena” are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal, and the lived experience as a leader for most of my working life.
The notes come from a personal process: Curiosity – Collection – Curation – Creation.
“Creating” this email each week, provides the opportunity to “curate” the notes and thoughts I’ve “collected” that have come from the books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, or conversations I’ve had…i.e. my “curiosity”.
Idea:
Be a quitter
I have learned to become a quitter.
Like most of us, I grew up with the mantra “winners never quit”, and to quit anything was a stain on your character.
But it takes guts to quit.
Quit the wrong stuff to focus on the right stuff.
It is much easier to roll from day to day, doing stuff that we are used to doing, others think we should be doing, that we are not necessarily good at or enjoy, gives us no energy, isn’t important to us…all because we do not dare to quit.
And we wonder why we feel exhausted.
Ask yourself “What am I best at?”. Perhaps ask ten people who know you well. If it something different to what you get to do now, sounds like you have some work to do.
As David Whyte says “we need to place our identity on the edge of discovery”.
It might mean putting yourself in rugged seas for a while, but you get to find out how strong the anchor is.
PS:
Seth Godin has written a terrific book on when to quit and when to hang in called “The Dip”. As an aside, it took him two weeks to write, and is only 90 pages.
Godin introduces the book with a famous quote from Vince Lombardi:
“Quitters never win and winners never quit.”
He follows this with:
“Bad advice. Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.”
Quote:
“You know that the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest? … The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.”
― David Whyte, Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity
Apologies for overdoing the David Whyte references, but I do love his insight and storytelling.
Recommendation:
The Blackwing Pencil
They are the writer’s pencil. The silver 602 pencil. Used by John Steinbeck, the writer who got me interested in writing.
They are the artist’s pencil. The black Matte pencil. Used by Chuck Jones, who drew Looney Tunes, and it was comics and cartoons that got me drawing.
I still write and draw.
They are also lovely pencils. They feel great in your hand, light but balanced. All for a few dollars.
The silver 602 is demanding. “Take out that Moleskine. Write this down, record that thought, tell your story.” It has “Half the pressure, twice the speed” written in gold lettering on the side”. There are no excuses.
In your hand is a timeless tool of creativity, good enough for John Steinbeck and Tom Joad, and inspiring Bruce Springsteen, good enough for Chuck Jones and Daffy Duck.
It does have a competitive disadvantage as compared with most note-taking implements. You do need to sharpen it!
It’s rewards come with effort.
Tell me anything in life that is rewarding that doesn’t take some effort?
And yes, we all need to bring some tactile back into our lives.
Unplug for a minute. Quit the digital.
And watch those minutes become meaningful.
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Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
Learners VS Knowers
For me, the most interesting people seem to have the bumpiest pasts.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
Idea:
Leaners vs Knowers
Two great questions when interviewing people, to find out what makes them tick:
Question 1: “Have you ever taught yourself anything?”
Then wait for the response. If their eyes light up and they start talking about something they feel a deep passion for, however obtuse, you will learn so much about that person. You are connecting them to what they are connected to.
Question 2: “What do you want to learn next?”
You will find out whether they are a learner or a knower.
As Eddie Jones, legend Rugby coach says:
“Only recruit people who want to get better”.
Or as the late great AFL coach Allan Jeans would often say:
“You can’t put in what God took out”.
Quote:
“For me, the most interesting people seem to have the bumpiest pasts. I prefer to connect with someone who has experienced the struggles, battles and casualties of life’s journey. There is beauty, wisdom, and truth to be found in the scars”.
Recommendation:
“Old man and the sea” by Ernest Hemingway.
It is a small book, around 100 pages, almost readable in a good session.
I first read it as a boy, not because I wanted to, but because I was required for a Year 9 English class.
I finished it. Reread it.
Ten years later, I was staying at a house over the summer break and the book was on the shelf, and I read it again.
The book had changed, but clearly, it hadn’t.
I’d changed. I was no longer a boy, I was a young man, but I’d recently taken on a serious responsibility as CEO of the Richmond Football Club.
I was overwhelmed.
I then set myself to read it every year at the same time for the next ten years.
Each time I read the book it changed. I am now married. I have now lost my father. I have now lost my job. I am now a father.
Life changes.
I’d changed.
I have gifted this book more times than I can remember, and I have included it my book offerings at my workshops with the likes of Legacy and Atomic Habits.
Recently, I listened to it on Audible. It is wonderful. Donald Sutherland narrates it.
I cried.
…and a timeless song lyric:
David Bowie – Life on Mars
It’s on America’s tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
‘Cause Lennon’s on sale again
I remember being infatuated with those words, and Bowie. Still am.
Original film clip on YouTube (25 million views)
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Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
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Borrowing Freely, Combining Uniquely
Building the child for the path, not the path for the child.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
Idea:
Borrow freely, combine uniquely, and pause long enough to ask yourself…
“Can I teach it?”
By following this process, not only are you turning knowledge into wisdom, you are honouring your role as a leader.
Leader as teacher.
I love the simple learning/teaching mantra of “building the child for the path, not the path for the child”.
This short video of a life-changing conversation I had with coaching legend Ron Barassi when I was starting out titled “What makes the great players great?” is an example.
Quote:
“A true vocation calls us beyond ourselves; breaks our heart in the process and then humbles, simplifies and enlightens us about the hidden, core nature of the work that entices us the first place.”
David Whyte
From his book ‘Consolations’ speaking about Ambition
Recommendation:
The Flying Coach Podcast with coaches Steve Kerr (Golden State Warriors) and Pete Carroll (Seattle Seahawks)
Two very experienced championship winning coaches at the top of their game sharing their understandings and insight. The podcast was generously put together by the two guys in response to the COVID.
On this episode, they have Brene Brown as a guest, who has done work with Pete Carroll at the Seahawks. With Brene in attendance, vulnerability is going to be the focus of attention, which coincided with the NFL Draft, where they discuss recruiting in high-performance environments.
A few lines I noted in my journal from the conversation between three sages:
“We only draft players we want to coach.”
“When you compete, you are vulnerable. You are putting it on the line.”
“Own your mistakes with meaning. It is a sign of strength.”
“You cannot have courage without vulnerability.”
“You do not get skilled without vulnerability.”
There are many more. Well worth a listen but keep the notebook handy.
…and a timeless song lyric:
David Essex – Rock On
Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen
Prettiest girl I ever seen
See her shake on the movie screen, Jimmy Dean
(James Dean)
I remember seeing David Essex on Countdown when I was a kid and hoping one day to have hair like him. Didn’t happen. Still love this tune.
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From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
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Friction
There is always conflict out there, you just might not know it. If you do not deal with it, it will appear at the worst possible moment.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
Idea:
I spent a year working with legendary hockey coach Dr Ric Charlesworth in my first year as CEO of the Fremantle Football Club.
It was the end of the 2001 season. The club was financially destitute and had won only two games that year, losing the first 17 games, finishing last on the ladder. They had never finished higher than twelfth.
Suffice to say, the Dockers were about to go through a massive transition, requiring a full rebuild on and off the field, and with club President Rick Hart, I was tasked with leading this process.
As a CEO, at its most basic level, there are two fundamental but interrelated models you need to get into shape as quickly as possible:
Profit Model
Performance Model
Fremantle, in only its seventh year in the AFL, had built neither.
Ric had been appointed as a part-time high-performance consultant twelve months before I arrived in Perth from Melbourne (another transition). There are many reasons why the relationship did not extend beyond this period, but it was a tricky space for Ric with the club having three senior coaches during these two years, each with their own views and philosophies.
Even though this was a brief period period working together, as with most of the great coaches I have worked with, there are always wisdom and teachings that stay with you.
I was reminded of these when listening to Ric’s interview on a terrific new podcast “The Great Coaches”.
One of these was Ric’s view that coaches don’t change athletes; athletes change themselves. The coaches create the environment for this to happen, and the rest is up to them.
Even though he’d coached (14 years as a National coach) and played with some of the very best athletes (as well as being a five-time Olympian he was also a first-class cricketer, opening the batting for Western Australia for eight years), he would say:
“I’ve never met a player who couldn’t be better than they thought they could be”.
He would often speak of the need for candour in this relationship, built on clearly articulated standard:
“I will not treat you evenly, but I will treat you fairly, and always in the best interests of the team.”
A very high bar had now been set. There will be friction and conflict as there is a considerable amount of judgement and ambiguity in this objective. Athletes have a natural bias towards their performance and importance to the team.
It requires a capacity to deal with this friction, and again as Ric states ”There is always conflict out there, you just might not know it. If you do not deal with it, it will appear at the worst possible moment.”
In my experience, leaders in business often struggle with candour required to deal with friction and conflict. But you have no choice. If you are not up for this conversation, you are not up for leadership.
Leadership is not only about the standard you set, but the standard you walk past. You cannot have standards without candour, otherwise they are just your words.
As T.D Jakes said:
“Your words tell others what you think.”
“Your actions tell them what you believe”
The real issues of conforming and conflict avoidance will appear at the worst possible time, and by extension, you are creating a culture that will curtail the development of your people.
Error with then beget error, and those people with ambition and expectations, are the ones most likely to be frustrated by this environment, and they will leave.
In setting a standard, and an expectation of accountability, ask yourself, beyond your position title, have you ‘earned the right’ to hold people to account. The simple measure is your personal level of candour, an assessment only you can make.
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
Emptiness
By calling it out, you are opening yourself up, but there is no courage without vulnerability.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
The video below hit home for a couple of reasons.
I worked in the AFL for 30 years, 25 as a CEO.
I never won a Premiership.
Yes, there are moments of ’emptiness’, but they quickly pass. The pang of jealousy in the moments following the Grand Final as you watch the pure joy of those who have played or worked to achieve this outcome, soon replaced by admiration.
I know how hard they are to win.
But I never feel empty; it is the opposite.
I feel a deep sense of appreciation that I got to work in the game I loved, in wonderful clubs with people I genuinely cared for. While there would undoubtedly be things I’d change, and I think of those often, I am confident I gave it as much as I could give, perhaps too much.
The game was a great teacher, for which I am also eternally grateful.
Nathan Buckley – Curiosity vs Certainty, Growers vs Arrivers
But what I also like about this video is how Nathan called it out. Do not underestimate the courage that goes with this.
Do you let it pass, or do you call it out?
By calling it out, you are opening yourself up, but there is no courage without vulnerability.
Leadership is the standard you are prepared to walk past.
For Nathan Buckley, there was no walking past.
I suspect this is one of the reasons he will never feel empty.
He is giving his best. What more can you ask of yourself?
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
Be the Child
I challenge you not to have a moment when you watch this Devon Fowler video.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
Be the child. Be the parent.
I challenge you not to have a moment when you watch this Devon Fowler video.
My moment was when my late father Alan brought home a pair of Adidas Striker footy boots, medium cut, with the screw-in studs. They had the yellow-green three stripes and came in the famous Adidas blue box.
Most importantly, they were the identical boots that Richmond Football Club champ Francis Bourke wore.
I can still remember the smell, that mix of leather and glue, the new-car-smell of footy boots.
I remember walking around the house in them for a week before I was allowed to ‘christen’ them at training at Essex Heights U/11s. It didn’t stop me from getting blisters, but it didn’t matter. They were the most precious thing I owned.
What was your moment?
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
I Am A Cancer Survivor
I just added the words ‘cancer survivor’ to my profile. I had no idea I had cancer. There were no signs.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
I just added the words ‘cancer survivor’ to my profile.
I had no idea I had cancer. There were no signs. I’m indebted to my GP who thought it would be a good idea to check late last year. He went ‘two knuckles deep’, felt a lump with blood tests showing an elevated PSA, with MRI and biopsy to follow over the next few months.
Then the phone call you don’t want to get.
“Cameron, I’m sorry to tell you that you have cancer.”
The surgery was a tad rugged as are the first couple of weeks afterwards, but I am now able to focus on restoring the functionality previously the domain of my ex-prostate and doing my best not to align my self-esteem and blokey-ego to these.
The signs are good that I am now cancer-free.
Lads, get yourself checked. We all know early detection is the key…I lucked in. Please don’t luck out.
Thanks to Phil Nitchie from Nitch Photography for his talent and generosity. Love your work.
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
Mastery
Have you ever felt that you’d reached it, even for the briefest moment?
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
Mastery?
Have you ever felt that you’d reached it, even for the briefest moment?
Often only you know.
A wonderful feeling.
My favourite footy/leadership guru Bob Murphy describes such a moment with his usual eloquence:
“I know it’s a goal as it leaves my boot. It’s the most exhilarating feeling I’ve ever known. A clean, crisp, musical note. It might never feel this perfect again. The ball spins and arcs through the middle, and it’s enough to bring people to their feet. My momentum carries me towards the fence, and before me is a sea of red, white and blue. The clan. My clan. They feel what I feel. We are one and the same for a brief moment in space and time.”
PS. I loved Michael Willson’s ‘vintage’ image
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
How Bad Are You Blokes Going?
Leading wasn’t about riding in on your white horse as the person with all the answers; it was most often the opposite.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
It is the hard days that define us
‘How bad are you blokes going?’
The statement brings back many memories.
I’m CEO of an AFL club that does not look like winning, with the gap between performance and expectation getting wider by the week.
These are the mornings when you wake up knowing that regardless of what happened on the weekend, and no matter how bad the defeat, and while you may be bereft of ideas and inspiration, sleepless night and all – you still had to lead.
You have no option.
Leading wasn’t about riding in on your white horse as the person with all the answers; it was most often the opposite. Create space for a better conversation. Avoid default responses, as they are most likely to be driven by your bruised ego, selfishness and anger. Embrace the ambiguity, complexity and conflict.
Admit you don’t know and you need help in making sense of it all.
Be the learner.
…and remember always, it is the hard days that define us.
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
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A Tear To My Eye
This footage brought a tear to my eye. Not sure if the tears were pride or sadness. Probably doesn’t matter.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
This footage brought a tear to my eye.
Not sure if the tears were pride or sadness. Probably doesn’t matter.
It is my father Alan Schwab speaking at the launch of “Tigerland”, the Richmond Football Club History Book.
I’d recently appointed as General Manager (CEO) of Richmond, the role he’d held a decade earlier during the club’s great era. He then went on to become Executive Commissioner of the AFL.
Dad died four years later.
Thanks to Rhett Bartlett, the Tiger Historian, for rediscovering this footage. It means a lot. Check our Rhett’s twitter and YouTube for some more priceless gems.
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
Everybody Needs A Hero
There are people you meet, and you feel good about them. Then there are people you meet, and you feel good about you.
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
I have clear memories of meeting Tommy Hafey for the first time.
I was seven years of age.
It might have been that I’d seen him on TV, on “World of Sport” or “Football Inquest”, or I’d heard his name regularly mentioned in our home, overhearing my dad’s telephone conversations. My father Alan was Secretary of the Richmond Football Club and Tommy Hafey, the senior coach.
Perhaps the reason I remember meeting Tommy was our introduction is just one of many highlights on a most memorable day, watching my first live game of league football.
This also meant seeing my childhood hero Royce Hart play for the first time.
I sat in a football crowd that would roar in appreciation of Royce, but as often in anticipation. It was as if they were willing him into the game, and I added my young voice to the chorus.
Sensing the moment, Royce delivered, kicking four as the Tigers came from behind to beat the Demons.
He was at the peak of his considerable powers.
I think I fell in love with the Tigers (and Royce) before I fell in love with anything else in life.
Most likely, however, I remember meeting Tommy for the first time for the same reason as everyone who met Tom recalled their earliest encounter.
It was the way he made you feel.
It was some time after the final siren, and I am in the old Richmond changerooms. The rooms felt the size of a couple of shipping containers; a yellow and black musty concrete cave with no natural light, built into the bowels of the old MCG grandstand, almost as an afterthought.
The rooms smelt of a heady mix of MCG mud, dencorub and cigarette smoke. It was sensory overload for this smitten seven-year-old.
I was following my father around as he went about his end-of-day business, finishing in a small room I now know to be the coaches room with the Tiger powerbrokers of that era, in the midst of their match post-mortem.
As the meeting drew to a close, dad cupped my head, bringing me out of his shadow. “I’d like to introduce my son Cameron. Today was his first game”.
I was introduced to the men one-by-one, standing military upright in front of each as they held out their hand to greet me. I had been well trained on male custom when meeting someone for the first time. As they looked down at me, I met their eyes, smiled, attempting to reciprocate their strong grip with my well-practised firm handshake.
When I stood in front of Tommy Hafey, he went down on his haunches as he had with the sitting players during the quarter-time breaks. He drew down to my eye level, still holding my hand in a gentle grip, “Good to meet you young Schwabby. You were our good luck charm today, son. Who did you think was the best player?”
“Royce”, I said.
I heard the room chuckle.
“I think you’re right son. I think you’re right”, rubbing my blond head, again as he did with the players.
He kept talking to me as everyone left the room together.
It felt good.
Real good.
There are people you meet, and you feel good about them. Then there are people you meet, and you feel good about you.
The feel good about them people are often charismatic, funny, smart, good looking, whatever it is, you soon sense that you’re in the presence of a person of high capability, and often, influence. They have the capacity to leverage this feeling, amplify it, as a source of power, mainly as it relates to a personal goal, endeavour, or ego.
I know many leaders like this.
How good you feel about them is generally a diminishing good, the value and timing lasting only as long as there is mutuality in the relationship. It is transactional. You are serving them.
The feel good about you people, their goal is to keep you feeling good about you, and in return, you feel good about them. The pattern is set, and it will often last a lifetime.
It is a relationship of care, not convenience.
People like Tommy Hafey.
And for those who question this approach as it relates to performance, speak to those who were coached by him.
All-time great Tiger Kevin Bartlett, a five-time Premiership player, who was closer than most to Tommy, if not closest, explained it best for the many generations of players coached by him.
“He loved his players, he was genuinely interested in them as people”, he said.
“When I played I can tell you that I played for Tommy Hafey, I think we all did, we wanted to win for Tom and were excited if we did, and if we didn’t, we felt like we’d let him down.”
The ‘feel good about them’ option for leaders is a trap, often very difficult to break.
Firstly, it feels good in the moment. The release of dopamine or serotonin, (I’m unsure of the chemistry but you know the feeling) that accompanies power is intoxicating, so much so that leaders look for opportunities to feel it, often impairing their judgement while diluting their presence as words and actions are judged as self-serving, egocentric and cliched.
People stop listening. ‘You lose the room’, and in my experience, it is very difficult to win it back. Often you are the last to know, because no one is prepared or wants to tell you, and the damage has been done.
I have ‘lost the room’ before, more than once, and mostly I was trying to short-cut an issue, find a solution of convenience, or even worse, position myself to ‘look good’ and then losing the respect of my team who surmised my intentions.
Unfortunately, I have also been required to dismiss leaders who have lost the respect of their teams, including coaches.
Secondly, we see it as an expectation, to look the part of the leader. We have grown up with stories of powerful people making famous speeches or waving from open vehicles in ticker-tape parades, being the leader as hero. It is the most visual aspect of leadership, and leaders are judged accordingly, even though we’re seeing just a small part of what it means to be a leader, their ability to give a good talk.
Finally, when leaders are overwhelmed and exhausted, it feels like the easiest option — a false economy. To make people feel better about themselves, you are required to ‘show-up’ in the most generous way, in a state of empathy, which can seem like very hard work at the time but is ultimately energising.
I mean ‘show-up’ in a genuine and personal sense. Yes, ‘walking the floor’ is important, but more significant is what you bring to the conversation. ‘Stop telling, start teaching’ is the adage, which requires the giving and receiving of feedback, because to be a teacher you must be a learner (and unlearner), and much of the knowledge, understanding and insight sits with your team, and you need to hear it, even when it is not what you want to hear.
How do you know that you are ‘showing-up’ with good integrity and intent? Ask yourself the question, “Aside from having a job, how are people better off for being led by me?” Then, with pencil and notebook, set about answering it.
To inform this check-in, regularly ask yourself, when in conversation, be that one-on-one or group, “If I was listening to me now, what would I be seeing and hearing, what would I be thinking, and most importantly, how would it make me feel?”
Show up consistently even when you don’t want to. Practice the timeless skills of bravery, humility and empathy as the basis of your leadership. Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Day by day.
I think about the times that Tommy Hafey continued to ‘show-up’ in my life from that first meeting, and for the next forty years.
He showed up at my junior footy club when I was a kid, our coach advising that he would only be able to stay for a few minutes, but we were so privileged to have him there. He stayed for hours, talking to the young players, their parents, brothers and sisters, thanking everyone for the opportunity to speak with them. The privilege was all his.
He showed up when I got my first job in football at age eighteen as the Office Boy at the Melbourne Football Club, and one of the first phone calls I received was from Tommy Hafey, then coach of Collingwood.
“I was just talking to your dad”, he said. “He mentioned today was your first day. My advice? Don’t be intimidated by the big names. Not knowing is fine. Don’t say you know when you don’t, don’t pretend to understand when you don’t. It is the only way you get to know your stuff., and you need to know your stuff. Good luck, son.”
He showed up, often, when I was a young CEO at Richmond. Sitting in my office for hours, usually arriving unannounced, no fanfare, mostly after we’d been thrashed the weekend before, which happened regularly. Always positive. Seeing the possibilities, when others didn’t or couldn’t.
“Create your own success son’, he’d say. “No one is about to hand it to you. Make it happen. You will be fine. Sun comes up tomorrow. Always does.”
He showed up when my dad died suddenly over 25 years ago.
“Your dad loved you kids. He was so proud of the three of you. Did he tell you that?” he asked.
“He did Tommy. All the time”, I said.
“That’s good son. That’s good. Never forget it”.
Tommy never let me forget it.
He showed up when I got sacked. He showed up when the club I was involved with had a breakthrough win, and this was the pattern for most of my adult life until Tommy died in 2014.
It seemed everyone had a Tommy story, which they took delight in telling. Yes, people loved meeting Tommy, freaky fit, handsome, shining eyes, but they all spoke about his generosity and genuine interest in them.
They remembered how Tommy made them feel.
Everybody needs a hero.
———–
Tommy Hafey’s learnings on leadership:
If it’s meant to be, it is up to me
If you want to be an effective leader, you have to be the most enthusiastic guy in the room
Your words and actions affect everyone on your team
Give 100% effort, 100% of the time
Everyone is important
Know your stuff
Be human
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.
Loyalty
The character you possess during the drought is what your team will remember during the harvest
The thoughts I’ve recorded here have all been inspired by the wise people I’ve met, books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, people I’m coaching and the insight they have given me. I thank them all of them for going deep to find their wisdom.
My goal is to match their generosity by sharing some brief ideas, quotes, as well as a recommendation each Friday for you to ponder.
The concepts are taken from years of daily journaling and in the moment note-taking in my Moleskine journal.
Robbie Flower was a beautiful footballer; a descriptor rarely used to describe anyone playing Australian Rules football. He is also the best player I got to watch ‘up-close’ in my 30 years in the game. I’m not saying he was the best I’ve seen, a different conversation, just the best I got to watch week in and week out as an insider, a different form of appreciation.
Sometimes when watching a game of sport, there is one player who seems somehow different from any other in the arena. It goes beyond athleticism, skill, and competitiveness. It’s a rare combination and interaction of qualities and capabilities that set them apart, that without full access to any element, would reduce them to mere mortals. Superpowers lost or stifled, and they become just another player.
The superpowers are generally obvious, but with Robbie, it was subtle, almost inferred. He made subtlety his competitive advantage. Micro movements, both instinctive and studied that would bewilder opposition players. Somehow he would find himself in space, not just small spaces; it was like he had his own football and the MCG to himself.
This thought came to mind as I watched “The Last Dance” on Netflix, a wonderful insight into the complexity and contradictions of high-performance sport. It is also a reminder of the genius of Michael Jordan, who somehow manages to play at levels above the supreme standard of the NBA, such that the likes of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird are left shaking their heads.
If you listen to the commentary of Robbie’s era, words such as ‘graceful’, ‘elegant’ and ‘humble’ are used to describe, and it seemed, celebrate him. He was the Yin to football’s Yang, at a time when brawn, brutality and bombast was mostly the mark of the 80’s footballer.
The game somehow needed him, and for this reason, while adored by supporters of the Melbourne Football Club, he was universally admired by anyone who loved the game, notwithstanding their club allegiance. Once a year, Robbie would belong to all Victorians, in State of Origin games where we would get to fully appreciate his mastery when playing with and against the game’s best. He thrived.
For the Melbourne supporters of this era, their consolation was “at least we’ve got Robbie Flower” as they left the MCG after suffering yet another loss. He was more than enough to bring them back next week, and for the best part of 15 years, almost the only reason Melbourne supporters would go to the football.
The lack of team success would be enough to challenge any team-oriented athlete, which Robbie undoubtedly was. There was no lack of opportunity for him to join the power clubs of his era. A time when the loyalty of players was being questioned as football lovers were coming to terms with the push towards professionalism, the pressure on players in poor-performing clubs to move to teams for riches and the promise of success was significant.
It was never an option for Robbie.
Soon the word ‘loyal’ was added to the other descriptors.
Former Western Bulldog champ and skipper Bob Murphy reminds me of Robbie Flower. He is the closest I’ve seen to him as a player, although I generally avoid comparisons between players as it is often an excuse for not adequately exploring the unique qualities of the individual player. Yet, every time I watched Bob Murphy play, I thought of Robbie Flower. Skinny, balanced and skilful wingers turned half-back wearing #2 might have been as deep as it went, but it was certainly there.
Having read Bob Murphy’s terrific (and partly accidental leadership) book Leather Soul, this quote again reminded me of Robbie:
“It’s seemingly a fading currency in professional sport, or so I’m told. Loyalty in sport isn’t dead, just a little misrepresented. It’s not blind loyalty. Too much is at stake. The loyalty I’ve known in footy is a relationship – there must be an exchange of effort and goodwill. The Bulldogs and I were a good couple. I gave them everything I had. I hope they feel like they got a good deal, too. I’m a proud servant of the Bulldogs. Forever.”
Too often, leaders think of loyalty as an expectation, yet are unwilling to take personal responsibility for the relationship which created the less than optimal outcome – a good person leaving. This is particularly apparent in prosperous times when competition for talent is amplified, but in actuality, real notions of loyalty are formed in tough times.
A quote from Jon Gordon in his book “You win in the locker room first” describes it well:
“The character you possess during the drought is what your team will remember during the harvest.”
Winning is never the result of a single thing, but losing often is. Good culture is an artefact of our combined behaviours, particularly as it relates to building trusted relationships. The work leaders do now, when it’s hard, will aggregate and be the reason they succeed in the future. Connections formed and established during these challenging times will be the platform for the loyal, trusted and high-performance relationships in years to come.
I remember discussing with Robbie why he never left Melbourne. His answer was simple. “I always believed that one day we would get it right, and I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t a part of it”.
While Robbie never got to play in a Grand Final, his last three games were finals, the only finals he would play. He was captain of his beloved team, beaten just one game short in a folklore match against a superstar Hawthorn lineup. I was Recruiting Manager at Melbourne at the time, and just a little bit proud to have played a small role in football lore, yet it remains the most heartbreaking game I was associated with. I have attempted to capture this emotion in my drawing of Robbie and Hawthorn champ and skipper Michael Tuck (above), the emptiness of missed opportunity.
As long as the game is loved, people will talk about this game.
As long as the game is loved, Robbie Flower will be a hero of the Melbourne Football Club, for all the right reasons.
In Bob Murphy’s words, Robbie Flower and Melbourne were a good couple.
I always enjoy the opportunity to talk all things culture and high-performance, and the development of leaders to achieve it.
Here are a few of ways to start the ball rolling:
I like to share the ‘bruises’ of my lived leadership experiences as a 25 year CEO in the AFL with leaders as part of our Learning Leadership event for senior leaders. We have run this event for the past few years, and the feedback has been excellent. We have now transitioned the event online. There is no cost as we recognise that time allocated to learning is perhaps our most precious resource, and therefore we have also provided a number of dates from which to choose, please use this link.
Sign up for the “More to the Game” weekly email, and receive a copy of my “What business can learn from football” White Paper. The emails are short leadership reflections, no more than a couple of minutes to read and we will always treat our communication with respect. Please use this link.
Download my book “More to the Game”. In this publication, I have combined my writings and drawings with the beautiful imagery of Michael Willson, the premier AFL photographer. It is free to download (no sign-ups) at “More to the Game – What leaders can learn from football”
You can also contact me at cameron@designCEO.com.au and let me know how you think we can work together.
Stay Connected
Please subscribe to our “In the Arena” email.
From time to time to time we will email you with some leadership insights, as well as links to cool stuff that we’ve come across.
We will treat your information with respect and not take this privilege for granted.